David Bouchier

Commentator

David began as a print journalist in London and taught at a British university for almost twenty years. After coming to the United States in 1986 he continued to teach and to publish a regular humor column in The New York Times regional edition.  He joined WSHU as a weekly commentator in 1992, becoming host of Sunday Matinee in 1996. His latest book of essays, Peripheral Vision, was published in 2011. His other books include A Few Well Chosen Words, The Song of Suburbia, The Cats and the Water Bottles, The Accidental Immigrant and Writer at Work. He lives in Stony Brook, New York with his wife who is a professor at Stony Brook University, and two un-musical cats.

You must be familiar with those mail order catalogs that promote devices and gadgets, designed to make your life safer and easier. In fact they make your life harder, because they create guilt and anxiety, which of course is the whole point of the sales pitch.

A good barbershop is hard to find. When a man needs a haircut he needs just that, a haircut, nothing complicated. An authentic barbershop will display a symbolic candy-striped pole outside, and will be starkly utilitarian inside. Until the last century, barbers also acted as rough-and-ready surgeons, at prices far below the current AMA rates. This history should be reflected in the plainness of the decor: it should look like an operating theater.

We all learned in school about young George Washington’s confession to his angry father, which included the famous words "I cannot tell a lie." I don’t know what children are taught these days, but it can’t be that – those words sound too strange to us in 2017. If young George had grown up in our time, even if he had cut down a whole forest of cherry trees, would never respond to the accusation with such a simple confession. He would denounce it as fake news, call an attorney, and take the case all the way to the Supreme Court.

Back in the olden days when I was a schoolboy there were many things about adults that I found mystifying. High on the list was their habit of dividing up people, ideas, activities, and just about everything else into good or bad, right or wrong, friend or enemy. Ours was a small school with only about three hundred boys, but even so we were randomly divided into four artificial groups called “Houses,” indicated by a colored border around our caps. I was in Charter House, I remember, with a green cap.

Back in the olden days when I was a schoolboy there were many things about adults that I found mystifying. High on the list was their habit of dividing up people, ideas, activities, and just about everything else into good or bad, right or wrong, friend or enemy. Ours was a small school with only about three hundred boys, but even so we were randomly divided into four artificial groups called “Houses,” indicated by a colored border around our caps. I was in Charter House, I remember, with a green cap.

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